This is what I do also pt 2!

Oh yea i forgot 2 mention that I also do all the artwork for the show. I made all promotional posters, the program booklet, the tickets, and the dvd cover.


::Here is a promotional poster for the show. The same picture is also the front cover of the program booklet.



This is the tickets for the show.



This is the dvd cover for the show. YES our show is on DVD!



And here go me from my outfit inspired by "The Wizard of Oz". Of course im the effin Wizard lmao.

This is what I do also!

okay so those who know me I'm always talking about Catwalk Models. This is th modeling group i was part of the last 2 years of high school. Last year my senior year I was one of the producers/Executive board members. Now since I graduated I come back every year and help out. Those who do not know about Catwalk they are the best high school modeling group in Baltimore City. THE BEST OF ALL. There is no high school in the city better then them right now they are at there prime. The show a theatrical show that involves fashion. Here are some videos from the show for a better understanding.

::These videos are from the most recent show. All the scene ideas and clothes are originally designed::

Absent.

Ok. So I made up my mind and I am going to shoot a documentary on deadbeat fathers.
My inspirations...well i am a young adult growing up without a father. Not because he has passed away but because he chose not to be part of my life. Most people think that is all about the financial aspect and the father needs to support the child. But its deeper than that.A child not having their father or matter of fact a Son not having their father can emotionally scar them for life.

I thought that not having my father, I was capable of being strong about not having a father, but lately I been thinking and crying. I have this whole in my heart. It hurts me the most to know that I have a father that is alive and just did not want to raise me. Like he is ashamed of me or something. I know that this burden has emotionally scarred me. It took me a long time to realize how it had affected me. This dude lied to me str8 faced for 18 years and counting. I know it is not proper to hate someone but I have the utmost hatred for him.

Anyway I believe that these fathers do not realize what they are doing when they are not being an active part of their child's life. This documentary is to expose the truth and maybe just maybe when this absen fathers watch it they are touched and want to be active in their child's life.

Personal Image.

So im in my car right now waiting for my older brother Mr.Freshman at morgan. Tonight we are going to the club. At this club it is going to be underage drinking. Now I don't reaalli like going to this club because I don't like to see fellow college students mess up their personal image.

Im not saying the im the perfect person because I like to have my fun as well, but to an extent. The people that be at the club don't know what self control is and do not have any regard for their personal image. They drink until they can barely walk and dey passin out and throwin up. Now that is no way to represent yourself in public even at a club.

Me personally when im at the club I drink to get a little buzz but not drunk. I never want to be able not to control myself in public. I will only get slightly drunk in the privacy on my house or my brother house with a group of close friends around. Never out and public. You never know who maybe where at what time.
I take my Image seriously and all it takes is one bad incident to ruin it.

Animal Cracker Nature Show

It's more than just a game.

Ok. So I will admit that have a pretty freak addiction that me and my brothers have. We are addicted to playing Monopoly. Ooo we spend hours and hours playing Monopoly everday. I don't know if it is tha game we like playing or the fact that it brings us together. This is how we spend time with eachother; quality time. I am the second youngest in the family and the only child on my motherside so it feels great when to spend time with my older brothers.

We take Monopoly serious at our house. Before we play we all get juice bendy straws and my brother makes "stuff" data da nickname for the alfredo noodles he makes. These little things are all essential to a successful Monopoly game. Then we sit for hours and bond over monopoly. We all live fast paced lives. Me dealing with college, my older brothers working on there careers at time we can find it hard to find time 2 spend with eachother. We all know how important it is to spend time with eachother though. We all are eachother support system. Playing monopoly allows us the time 2 spend hours in a day with eachother.

On top of that, we are competitive. O whoever wins Monopoly gets the most bragging rights. Wheneva we have a problem with the other person we settle the dispute with Monopoly. Ionno its jus somethin about that game that we love lol its kind of freakishly weird. We haven't played monopoly in a long time but we playin dis weekend. Im clearin up my schedule just so I can join!

Medical Malpractice

written By C.R.Dukes (edited by Mike Star)



Who committed this treacherous deed?

Was it the one here before me?

The one before I?

Who damaged your inside?


Who caused your heart to be so damaged?

To the point that its so hard for you to manage.

In new situations, YES INDEED!

I think i know the answer, the answer is HE.


You gave him your heart for him to care

In return he abused it being negligent.

Your beauty is evident.

You deserve the best of it.


Not a rookie in those studies.

No one who's ACTING.

Not one of your buddies.

Who will cause Medical MALPRACTICE.


Be my patient

I can hear your heart screamin

and let me redeem it

show you new meaning


Scalpel check

im ready for the incision

take you down under my knife

This is my intuition


open your heart

show you the light.

Just call me doctor

i'll give you new life

Check my resume, my Credentials dont worry

Just trust me and let me perform open heart surgery

OKK. Finally a VIDEO!!

Ok So last year i was one of the people in charge of a high school modeling group at my high school. They are called the Baltimore city College high School Catwalk Models. They are the best high school in Baltimore. I came to their auditions this year to help out and get some behind the scenes footage. Here is the Audition Trailer for the Catwalk Models 2008-2009 Season, directed and edited by me.

Voting Rumors and Conspiricies

This election is probably going to be the most historical in years. Everybody heard many rumors or theories about the election. Im jus going to post all the theories that I heard and Election day Controversies.


*Let the issue be the only issue. A picture of a White Obama and Black McCain. Even though the race issue has not been bought up in media for obvious reasons. Even without it been said we all know that America still has a race problem and some are not ready for that kinf of change!

*McCain campaign is pulling out there most faulty election booths in liberal areas.

*'Election Day Switch' Hoax at GMU
Tuesday November 4, 2008
The Washington Post reports that hackers commandeered a George Mason University mailing list and sent a message to some 35,000 students, faculty, and staff members advising them vote on Wednesday instead of Tuesday. The text of the email, which purported to originate from the office of Provost Peter N. Stearns, read as follows:

Please note that election day has been moved to November 5th. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause you.

*Long Lines on Election Day has been an Issue.

*Voter Machines have been malfunctioning and breaking down.

*This election may have the highest voter turn out in decades!

* Voter Identification has been a problem. People have been denied to vote if their name has been spelled wrong on their Voter's card.

**More will be posted throught the day!!

?Artistic?

Alright, so one of my hidden talents is digital art. I will always have a passion for art. My artwork for the most part always evoke some kind of mood; whether it is joyful or melancholy. Last year and the early beginning of this year I was kinda dating this female. We were not in a relationship just talking. Someone I had interest in. While I we were talking she inspired me artistically to another level. The artworks I done while talking to her really poured from my heart and told our story. From the happy beginning to the heartbreaking ending. I'm going to post all the artwork I dedicated to her in order from which I did them. The name for the collection ::4444592:2482123::

::4444592:2482123::
Lottery

In this Picture I was conveying that I was willing to take a chance with her. Like the Lottery the outcome is unpredicitable but I was willing.


Timeline

I used a lot of image methaphors in this picture. The main one is the Timeline at the bottom. I'm conveying that I see a future with her.


Hour Glass

This picture yet again focus on time. The oldish look to it and the hour glass. I was conveying that no matter how long I would wait.


Mended Heart

This picture is based on Life and mending a broken heart. Im conveying that if she let me I could be the one to mend her heart,


Decaying Love

This is the last of the collection. Again this has to do with Life. After a series of events the simple thing we had started to crumble. This pic represents well how I felt about it. The heart in the web symbolizes confusion, like my heart was stuck. I didnt kno wat to do or think. The black widowed smbolyizes how it felt she was doing to me. So careless and cold like a black a widow. In all the pictutres the number symbolized her a disclosed reason that I am not going to share. At the bottom is X's and the reflection of the number. The X's reveal that this time their was no number to be placed she was gone and the reflection shows what should of...or could off been there. Like looking in a mirror and wishing in the reflection you saw what your heart wants the most!



Well thats the end of the collection. i didnt use the correct Art aesthetics

Relieving some Stess.

In case you did not know I am a small time graphic designer. I stopped doing it because once people started asking more and more to make things for them it started 2 feel more of a job than my favorite hobby. Most times I create images that reflect how I feel or to relieve some tension and stress. I been emotionally stressed lately so I designed a pic to relax a little. I put alot of time in my work and this the 1st time i designed a pic in a long time...tell me what you think,

Daydreamin'

At night--
I close my eyes eyes
open them back up and see purple skies
and when I blink--
I hope the sky not blue.
That mean I'm back to reality
and away from you.
But when I blink--
I see orange grass
and I think--
Im here at last
Away from reality,
away from my tragedy,
away from Earth's gravity.
How long will this place inhabit me?

I hope forever...
or until the day end.
so I can lay my head back and let my mind bend.
Back into the subconscious that shelters my heart

CTRL ATL Delete

CTRL ATL DELETE

That's what I thought I did to you months ago.
Still the memory of you stayed in my hard drive
No anti virus or firewall could prevent the thought of you from contaminating me.
Now I find myself...searching my recycle bin for your number...
I find myself...closing my eyes and doing a system restore to the last time we touched...
the last time our lips connected.
The last time our keyboards clicked.
I wanna get you outta me
I wanna delete our cookies
I wanna close all our tabs...
But you JUST will not ESC

::Breakdown::
If you are handy with computers you kno CRTL ALT Delete ends task
Recycle Bin is where trash is stored
A system restore is something you do to a computer when you want to bring it back the state it was da last time you saved it.
Cookies is internet history
So basically in the semi poem im saying::
I thought I get rid of you out of my life
but i find myself peicing together old memories of us
I cant stop these thoughts from poppin in my head
I close my eyes to think about the last time we touched
the last time we kissed
the last time we just simply had a connection
I wanna get these thoughts outta me
I dont wanna remember our history
but the thought of you kant get outta me

Heartless.

In the night I hear em talkin
The coldest story ever told
Somewhere far along this road he lost his soul
To a woman so heartless
How could you be so heartless?
--Kanye West

I believe that I have a lot of wisdom for my young age of only 18. Maybe that's why many of my friends come to me for advice. My advice isn't the kind of advice that is soothing or something you may want to hear. My advice exposes the harsh reality of the situation maybe opposite to what they may want to hear. All of the time it is for their best. I'm going to apply the same tactics to this blog post.

I'm onli 18 and I learned that relationships right now are a waste of time. Well not quite a waste of time but is not a necessity. People about my age start their quest for love at a young age. They believe that love doesn't have an age minimum. They believe that at any age you can understand the concept of love. The reality is that there is an age restriction on love. The concept of love is not for the immature. Even though some grown people may act immature for the most part MANY people of age are mature. What's of age you ask...I say late teens early twenties.19..20...around that. That can be debated though.

At a young age in high school about 9th grade I made my attempts at searching for love which ended in failure and heartbreak on the behalf of my partner. I was too immature for the concept. It wasn't until 11th grade I grasped some form just a little bit of love. I didn't realize it was love until it was over and I had heart pains like physical heart pains because she was gone.
Since then I told myself I do not want to experience that kind of pain at all again at my young age, so my quest for love ended.

With love comes a new since of power. A power that the young can easily misuse. When somebodi loves another person they are givin them access to their heart and personal feelings...feelings that most keep a guard around to protect them. Once someone has access to these feelings they have the power to treat them with care or manipulate these feelings. At a young age we are not able to handle this power, the power to control somebodi's heart. Misusing this power ends in heartbreak...one of the most emotionally painful things you can put on somebodi else.

I been down this route before. Abusing the power of having access to another person's heart. When I was young i never paid anymind to what i was doing. I simply did not care. As I got older I realized that this was not the right thing to do. Playing with somebodi else's heart is a cruel thing to do. In the end years of Karma did catch up with me in the worst way. Now I do try my best to not play with people emotions bcus I wouldnt like that if it was to happen to me.

People say now I have a cold heart. Simply because right now, at this moment I don't really like to do the Love thing. Like I said before right now I believe it is a waste of time. Some people right now are spending their youth on the quest for love. They are getting their heart broken and moving to the next person in the search for their soul mate. Right now...at the young ge of 15,16,17,18...that search can wait. People my age shouldn't be so eager to jump into something. Just relax...finish school...and work on your career before searching for love.

Many people go for this search for love early because they need that comfort and happiness to come from another person. The key in finding that someone is actually within yourself. You must have self happiness before you can turn upon some else for happiness. You must have love for yourself in order for someone to love you. Many people do not know how to find happiness within theirself. They do not know to console their own problems and must look upon someone else to confide in. Once you mastered the power of self happiness...finding that other person to bring you happiness will be put on the back burner. Myself have mastered the power to bring happiness to myself. That's why I have post poned my search for love. I realized I am ultimatly at my happiness when I am by myself. Involving yourself with some else brings drama, issues, etc. That kind of stuff brings you down emotionally. Right now at my young age...that part of life can wait. So ultimatly self happiness is key.

I'm not going to front though...I do lose my soul to a woman that was heartless. That's the main reason for me being Cold hearted...I dont need no woman to bring me happiness and joy that i can bring myself lol.

The World Can't Handle the both of us

Growing up... I never been the one to have a lot of friends

or people that are close to me.

I have a small family with jus me and my mother

and im the only child.

neva had anybody close to me.

and now bam outta no where

my brother from another motha literally.

Within the last year or so we been through a lot

and you been their for me when I needed you the most.

I opened up and todl you stuff i wouldn’t tell nobody

stuff bout my past and me in general so you could understand me

in ways other people cant.

Its crazii how me and you go through da same bullshit

and you got 4 years ova me.

Its like we livin the same life

Thats y when i go through my bullshit you kno how 2 handle it

cus u been through the same bullshit.

You changed me for the beta and made me understand certain shit bout life

and the people that try to come in your life for da wrong reasons.

You gotta real gift, to have an affect on people around you and

change em for the betta.

And while im around ima help make sure dem foney mutha fuckas stay out and dont try

milk the opportunity and the chance to use you.

all i can say is thanx for bein a good friend and an even better bigger brother

A new Direction

Im going to take this blog in another direction. i jus purchased a video camera, and
im about to start filming different projects. I start my first time long term project tomorrow. I also start some short projects this weekend so stay posted to see some of my work.

Safe Sex is great Sex

Safe Sex is great Sex,
Better wear a laxtex,
cus' you dont want that "late text"
that "I think I'm late text"
-- Lil Wayne

Many people, including celebrities have promoted safe sex, and been doing so for years. If you are above the age of 12 these days you know about the benefits of safe sex. Safe Sex awareness continuing to grow throughout this Nation. One of the biggest ways to prevent S.T.Ds and pregnancy. Some people especially teenagers still feel as through that a rubber is still not necessary. Well before I get into anymore details let me lead you to where I'm going with this.

This may be one of the most personal blogs I post but i feel as though this should be heard, well read. Saturday night I was engaged in sexual activities with a friend (casual sex) and as things started to get intense I paused and got a rubber saying, " Magnums are my best friends". So while we are "doing it" She says like your bestfriend is makin me mad blah blah blah basically wanting me to take the condom off and go raw. At that moment I have to pump the brakes. I believe that any girl that doesnt want me to use a rubber takes me for a fool and wants me to fail in life. She said you can pull out and blah blah blah.

I am no fool, I been engaging in sexual activities for years so I know the myths from the reality. So let me educate people who believe unprotected sex especially as a teenager is o.k because the male can always "just pull out"

It does not take much to get a girl pregnant. Just one drop of sperm can lead to a possibility. During the course of sex males pre-ejaculate. This means before the male even comes to close to ejaculating he already release sperm without knowing and feeling. THIS CAN GET A GIRL PREGNANT. To prevent this from happening where a condom.

The male race needs to be smart about certain things and dont let our other head do the thinking. Some males get in the heat of the moment and jus say "fuck the condom". This is the dumbest thing that can happen. It may be a hard thing to do at the time but just wait to you have a condom. Do not let the female talk you into going raw. SEX IS NOT WORTH RISKING YOUR FUTURE...

---Will be completed on Oct 7 2008

Am I Crazy

Thats a question I been wondering for the last couple days. I'm not talking bout playing around crazy,
I mean like is something mentally wrong with me. A couple screws are lose, not wrapped to tight, been dropped on my head too many times that's the kind of crazy I'm talking about.

Many of my friends tell me I'm crazy because I act wild and goofy sometimes. But they do not know what goes on in my brain. Stuff that I wouldnt share with people 'cus they would not understand.

Let me give an some examples. Like I do consider myself a dreamer, I dream a lot. I prolly spend like 70% of my day just day dreamin', whether its for hours or jus for a few minutes or a couple seconds. I live in my head. Sometimes I find myself creating an alter universe, a fantasy world in my head where all my dreams come true. All that i wished upon a star is available to me in my alter world. Its like when im dreamin' everything is soo perfect their is nothing wrong with life at all. I have all that ask for complete happiness, bliss, and "that" girl of my dreams.

I find myself slipping into this dream world a lot, and I love it their. Its a care free world. Does this makes me Crazy? Who wouldn't want to live in their own dream world, to escape the harsh realities of life the depression, the sadness, the loneliness, and the emptiness. In my dream world these negative things about life does not exsist. I guess this place is jus my own personal utopia, a place for me to reside when i do not want to deal with a reality where i can escape my past and the present, a place where me and "her" can bask in joy endlessly.

In my darkest hours i jus wish I could realli live in this false place and I find myself to grow depressed when I realized that this place onli exist in my dreams and I will never reach this utopia.
Does this make me crazy??

Fear

Fear...What is fear? How is fear instilled within you. Are humans born with Fear? What exactly are things people fear the most?

Wikipedia says:
"Fear is an emotional response to threats and danger. Fear should be distinguished from anxiety, which typically occurs without any external threat. Additionally, fear is related to the specific behaviors of escape and avoidance, whereas anxiety is the result of threats that are perceived to be uncontrollable or unavoidable.^[1] Fear is often connected to pain (e.g. some fear heights because if they fall, they may suffer severe injury or even die upon landing). Many theorists, such as Watson and Ekman, have suggested that fear is one of several basic, innate emotions (e.g. joy and anger). Fear is a survival mechanism, and usually occurs in response to a specific negative stimulus. "

What I fear the most does not hurt me physically, it does not cause me death nor harm.
But what I do fear the most do cause me a great loss. I fear not being successful in life as a whole.
As humans we are brought upon the values that we were placed on this earth for a reason and everybody has their own reason for being on earth, but what about the people who do nothing with their life. They differ greatly than the people who perform heart surgery.

In the next couple years how will my individual life effect the world or will my life be meaningless. Everybody wants to feel that they are needed and wanted. Everybody wants to feel like they mean something but this only happens by being successful. Now honestly everybody can not be successful...life is not that far. Sometimes certain obstacles are placed in your life just so you cant be successful. Am I one of those people?

My biggest goal is to go to film school and become a movie editor and director. But am I equipped with the right tools to do so?....

-To be Continued